Aesthetics vs. Getting the job done

I love pinterest. It is a great resource for ideas. For example,
when you need a creative solution for a children's book shelf, there it is at your fingertips!

However, I have found that great ideas might be just that: only ideas. When actually put into practice, they just don't work the way you anticipated. Like, activities for toddlers. Or, projects that require many $$$ and hours of time, that could be done quickly and cheaply if you just buy it at Walmart.

I'm continually learning about what to do and what not to do as a mother. And something I've learned: sometimes, it is important to be creative and to do things just the way you dream of it happening. And at other times, it's important to just get the job done and to move on to the next thing needing to be done, instead of worrying about making it visually appealing.

Losing My Life, Finding My Life

I realized today that I have done it. I've lost my life.

Now, let me replace some of that drama with some facts. The thought comes from the words of Jesus:

He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. (Matthew 10:39)

My head cleared enough yesterday to realize that I really just live for my two boys and my husband right now. I have no ambitions of a clean house, successful career, close friendships, even of finishing any of the books I'm currently reading right now. I wake up to little Cammy's pleas to snuggle with me at 4:30am, despite my desperate goal of waking up at 5am to exercise and to have some "me time".  No, instead I will snuggle with him to hopefully get him to "sleep in" until 7am. I have full days where my husband is flat in bed with back pain and it's just me, myself and I trying to keep up with the boys. I choke down a spoonful of peanut butter followed by a handful of chocolate chips, not because I am really craving sugar, but because it's a fast and simple distraction from the demanding cries of an emotionally volatile toddler (I wish I had 1/2 a second to even think of a healthier option). The realist in me could go on and on about how hard it is to try to do anything for me. The optimist in me will stop me right there--I think I've made my point clear.

Back to my opening point. I've lost my life. BUT, not in selfish goals. Rather, because I chose to marry and to have children, I've been required to give everything I have in order to take care of them. I am running on little more than an empty tank out of my love and desire to care for them.

But I have something in my tank! That's the point I wish to make with this story. I may feel that I am just about out of gas, but Heavenly Father can make it last as long as I need it to.

A story: One summer, my newly married self and husband drove roundtrip to Kentucky from Utah. If you've ever done anything similar, you know what a toll that can take. On our return trip, we were exhausted and done done done. We were on an empty stretch of Wyoming, around midnight, where there was absolutely nothing and nobody around, and we had no gas. "No gas" meaning we had hit the red caution light 30 minutes ago, the little arrow had fallen way below the E, and we were desperate. We prayed out loud, we prayed in our hearts. And that empty tank lasted 40 miles until we got to the nearest city with a gas station. We were given the gas we needed to get to where we needed to be. And it was a miracle.

The realist in me says that car manufacturers make their gauges signal Empty long before you actually reach that. Our Toyota Corrolla has an average number of 46.52 miles after the light turns on (source: http://tankonempty.com). Sure, we just lucked out. But no, that's not it at all.

I know it to be true that I experience much greater joy in life when I trust in the Saviour's words. He has promised me that if I will give my life in service to others, that I will find a greater joy in being myself than I ever could have done on my own. Just as that car was given what it needed until we could get to where we needed to be, I am given what I need so that I can continue on each day, sometimes continue just from one minute to the next, in order to do what I need to do and to become the person that He would have me become.

And as I lose my life, I find greater joy than I could ever have done by myself.

Have you found that to be true in your life?

One of my littlest and greatest joys!!!